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Listening and Breathing

After a week in Hawaii, I’m not feeling too sorry for myself, but I have to say that we came home right into the hell fire and brimstone of holy week in conjunction with the collision of my volunteer worlds.

Palm Sunday. . .
Deerwood Gerten’s plant sale data entry. . . (eleven hours)
SAM fall workshop meeting. . . (two hours)
Piano practice for Tenebrae service and Easter. . . (fifteen hours)
A graduation recital at my house. . .
Post Hawaii laundry. . . (thirty-seven hours) okay-that’s an exaggeration but that’s how it felt
Scheduling and programs for SPTG masterclasses (three hours)
Getting two kidos ready for the masterclasses. . . . who is counting?
Leaving cat brushes on the floor for my husband to puncture his foot (five minutes)

And all with a significant case of jet lag.

Sunday I thought I was so cool getting up for Palm Sunday church at 6:00 a.m. Eight hours and I’m fresh as a daisy. Monday at noon it hit me. Total coma. I hate to pull the age card. . . but I guess at 5’6″ I can’t do a Friday night red-eye flight, lose a night’s sleep and not pay the price.

Monday morning (pre-coma) I went to start my business week and all my contacts were erased from my computer. “You have. . . zero contacts.” Zero groups of contacts like SPTG board, SAM board, Piano Kids, Plant Sale Helpers. . .

I cried for help but the Lord did not hear me. I stuffed Dove chocolate eggs in my mouth and still the contacts did not reload. Last straw? Ask Facebook for help. Here I gained the comfort and support I needed. The masses ensured me that Calvin would be able to fix it. But what to do until 3:05? I couldn’t really pull him from school for the day.

Breath and listen.

Our senior choir performed the Beethoven Hallelujah again this Easter. I long ago abbreviated the orchestral reduction but even my edits put me at my limit. Still, I’ve been getting some coaching on my playing and I’m committed to life long learning and this is part of it.

So this year for the first time, at home, on the Baldwin, I’m feeling very comfortable and working to get out of the “this is hard” mindset. Really–this is our third year with the piece and truly it isn’t really that hard. Well within my clear minded grasp. Even fun.

For those of us with debilitating performance anxiety the goals become clear. Listen. Breath. You lose one of those for even a moment and it’s all over.

We had four services and the third was the fullest one with the sanctuary packed and the narthex and the fellowship hall and the fireside commons and the live web stream. Bill and Mary and Calvin came too. The breathing and listening thing went pretty well and there was even a hint of the “fun” thing.

The fourth service the introduction did not go so well–I’m not sure if I lost the breathing thing or the listening thing because I wasn’t there. Upon my return the rest went fine and I never lost my faith that our steadfast leader would know exactly where I was even when I wasn’t there.

What is it about the end? How many times to kids screw up the last measure or phrase? I guess the brain has packed it’s suitcase and already left the hall. And so I guess during the introduction of the fourth performance my brain left the hall. Overconfident? Tired? Or maybe we need that total rush of the heart rate just to pay attention. When I die, I’ll get the printout and it will all become clear. Oh–that’s what was wrong with you.

I could cry. I could beat myself up about it. I could feel terribly embarrassed. I could feel guilty about not giving the choir the confidence they needed for the last entrance. But the truth is, you do the best you can with the brain you are given and you keep learning and growing. You listen and you breath.

Monday morning you get up and practice with Calvin and do the listening thing. Then you go to yoga and practice the breathing thing. And then you teach and you practice the listening thing again. And so it goes.

So–each day and each Hallelujah and each moment an opportunity to listen and breath.

Happy Easter! May God bless all our listening and breathing–today and until it all becomes clear.

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Aloha Moments, Aloha Years

A week ago Saturday was the Suzuki Association of Minnesota Graduation for all instruments except piano. Five upper level piano soloists were selected by audition to perform as well. Lena and Calvin were included and all the pianists performed very musically. I’m proud of all the teaching going on at this level.

The guitars, harps and flutes perform in groups for their graduations. Two upper level flute soloists performed as well. It was a very lovely concert.


Here is a link to Lena’s Beethoven, Op. 13, Adagio Cantabile: Lena’s Beethoven
Here is a link to Calvin’s Mozart Fantasy in D Minor, K. 397: Calvin’s Mozart

Next year, I’ll be president and we will have a new graduation chairperson. I hope that things will continue to go smoothly and that the graduation day system will just pass into the next hands. Thank you, Andrea, for all your work getting the system in place and to all the other volunteers, Kamini and Meredith and Beatriz, Ellen and Paula–who am I forgetting–who put in hundreds of hours to make this special day for our students.

On a different note, last week at out SPTG meeting, we had a guest speaker presenting curriculums about sight-reading. It was a great program–she brought a table full of materials for us to peruse. There is no shortage of high quality systems. The knee jerk reaction, at least for me, is always, wow, I need to do that. We need to have a testing system and a grading system and a system to measure our progress. WE NEED A SYSTEM. . . .

. . . for sight-reading. . . for scales. . . for theory. . . for ear training. . . for technique. . . for rhythm.

Help. It’s true that you could spend 30-60 minutes each week with each child on any of these subjects. But before you go clicking buy now on Amazon for the next curriculum. . . maybe we already have a system.

I love to quote Amanda Vick-Lethco, co-author of the Alfred piano books, because I was lucky enough have a year of pedagogy with her at UT. She even let me perform a tryout of my junior recital in her lovely home overlooking Mount Bonnell. She always said, you have to dog’um. You only have 30-60 minutes.

How are we gonna spend that time? In book one, foundations. Tone, technique, listening. We use the repertoire to build the foundations of tempo, articulation, and rhythm, balance, all of which should be smooth sailing because they are learning with the same ease they learn language. No one ever criticizes the four year old because they forgot some of the words they learned when they were three. Success leads to success. We just keep adding more sprinkles to our musical cupcakes.

Beyond that–in books two through four we are adding reading, scales and theory. That is why we must have more time. At least 45 minutes. An hour is even better. My goal is to spend one third to one half of the lesson time with those “music education” tasks. The rest? Repertoire.

Beyond book four? We still have theory and technique but it has to serve the repertoire. The music.

At the extreme, if we take a child from three-years-old to graduation, that’s fifteen years of about 40 lessons a years. Six hundred lessons. We have to dog’um, but if I’m gonna put a line in the sand I’m leaning on the repertoire side.

There is the famous quote, “perhaps it is music that will save the world” from Pablo Casals. Notice he didn’t say music theory might save the world, or scales, or sight-reading. It is after music that we are studying. Music. All that other is important, very important, but it has to serve the repertoire.

That’s my system, and I’m sticking to it.

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Eagles’ Wings and the Beautiful Savior

You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord
Who abide in His shadow for life
Say to the Lord
“My refuge, my rock in whom I trust!”

And he will raise you up on eagles’ wings
Bear you on the breath of dawn
Make you to shine like the sun
And hold you in the palm of his hand.

The snare of the fowler will never capture you
And famine will bring you no fear
Under His wings your refuge
His faithfulness your shield.

And he will raise you up on eagles’ wings
Bear you on the breath of dawn
Make you to shine like the sun
And hold you in the palm of his hand.

You need not fear the terror of the night
Nor the arrow that flies by day
Though thousands fall about you
Near you it shall not come.

And he will raise you up on eagles’ wings
Bear you on the breath of dawn
Make you to shine like the sun
And hold you in the palm of his hand.

For to His angels He’s given a command
To guard you in all of your ways
Upon their hands they will bear you up
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.

And he will raise you up on eagles’ wings
Bear you on the breath of dawn
Make you to shine like the sun
And hold you in the palm of his hand.

and. . ..

Beautiful Savior.
King of Creation,
Song of God and Son of Man!
Truly I’d love Thee,
Truly I’d serve Thee,
Light of my soul, my Joy, my Crown.

Fair are the meadows,
Fair are the woodlands,
Robed in flowers of blooming spring;
Jesus is fairer,
Jesus is purer;
He makes our sorrowing spirit sing.

Fair is the sunshine,
Fair is the moonlight,
Bright the sparkling stars on hight;
Jesus shines brighter,
Jesus shines purer,
Than all the angels in the sky.

Beautiful Savior,
Lord of the nations,
Son of God and Son of Man!
Glory and honor,
Praise, adoration,
Now and forevermore be Thine!

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Save the Date! Kotrba Piano Studio Concerto Event!

This may be a random journalistic entry. . . so feel free to speed read. Things have been going along pretty smoothly here. We had a great parent party last weekend! The SPTG Advancing Recitals are tomorrow and there is an extra printer toner cartridge in my closet so I will sleep tonight. The K. 330 is memorized and waiting for recording. We’ve all been healthy and moving the ball down the field.

About ten days ago I declared the spring calendar closed. That’s it. No new obligations. Learn to say no to 90% of the opportunities that arise.

Fail. Tuesday, Mary auditioned for the children’s choir of the Eagan High School spring music production and as if they aren’t going to accept a warm body who sings in tune. . . bingo. . . EIGHTEEN “new events” on the calendar. It didn’t help that she can dance a little.

Wednesday Calvin texts from school (kids do that now) with an invitation to the middle school honor band festival. With evening concert of course.

Thursday the ballet teacher whom I love suggests a few private lessons to get Mary caught up with the older class. Saturday afternoons will work well for her. Sigh.

My personal assistant Sally will be handling the transportation to and from these valuable experiences. I wish. Sally is a fantasy who also changes the oil in the car every 3500 miles.